Interfaith Relationships. Those 2 words can oftentimes invoke
fear in the hearts of the strong.
Interfaith dating, relationships, and
marriages are on the rise. In fact about 52% of American Jews
marry outside of their faith. Cultures, traditions and families
are likely to clash. How this is dealt with can determine the
success of the relationship and the future beliefs of the
children, if they are to have beliefs at all.
Any time two lives are combined, challenges are bound to happen. When a couple has different religious and spiritual backgrounds (belief and practices) cultural issues will arise; these differences need to be handled harmoniously, or they may cause a multitude of problems. The issues that arise may include, but are not limited to, how to raise your children, how to worship, praying as a family and more. It will take focused attention from both parties to determine how to handle both of the spiritual points of view in a marriage (preferably before you marry!). All of this said, interfaith marriages can be both enriching and positive!
Interfaith relationships are often viewed as a great problem and even as a threat to Jewish people and their way of life. It does not have to be this way. These relationships can be a source of great blessings to those who are involved in them. Either way you view interfaith relationships, there are some unique challenges that arise when mixing different customs and traditions.
Some of the challenges that arise are: How do you handle the holidays? How do you raise the children? What about the in-laws? What is kugel (or any Jewish food) anyway?
At Beit Simcha we welcome interfaith couples and have much experience in helping people solve the problems that they face. Here are a few ideas on growing a strong interfaith relationship:
• Make an extra effort to understand the feelings of your in-laws. Explain to them why you feel the way you do & that their traditions are very important to you.
• In an interfaith marriage, understand a Biblical view of marriage & interfaith relationships. Study the Biblical significance of the holidays.
• Discover your commonality. Focus on togetherness not on differences.
• Learn about each other’s background. Encourage your mate to share what they feel is important about their faith, traditions and observations. Consider the meaning that your own traditions and a sense that belonging to a community gave to your life. What do you want to continue? What do you want to pass on?
• Try to avoid blends at holiday times; a Hanukkah Bush or Hanukkah Stocking should be avoided. These tend to irritate in-laws, and confuse the kids.
• Deal with problems, issues head on. Real, open communication is the key. Find out if something is really important or if you are just being stiff-necked or stubborn.
• Remember that as our lives change (birth of a baby, death of a parent, and/or move to different area) things can happen that seem to throw your lives in a panic. Talk openly & honestly when these situations occur to be able to bring you back to a common ground.
• Bring God back into the equation – then everything will all add up!
Beit Simcha understands that faith is something that often becomes more important to us when we have a family. We as parents want to pass our beliefs and traditions down. And even in those cases where a couple decides to raise the children without faith, or in one spouse’s specific faith, suddenly this arrangement might become unacceptable for the other spouse.
If you are interested in finding out more information (or if you know an interfaith couple who would like more information), please contact us. Beit Simcha has experienced people who can discuss this topic with you or your intermarried friends.
Any time two lives are combined, challenges are bound to happen. When a couple has different religious and spiritual backgrounds (belief and practices) cultural issues will arise; these differences need to be handled harmoniously, or they may cause a multitude of problems. The issues that arise may include, but are not limited to, how to raise your children, how to worship, praying as a family and more. It will take focused attention from both parties to determine how to handle both of the spiritual points of view in a marriage (preferably before you marry!). All of this said, interfaith marriages can be both enriching and positive!
Interfaith relationships are often viewed as a great problem and even as a threat to Jewish people and their way of life. It does not have to be this way. These relationships can be a source of great blessings to those who are involved in them. Either way you view interfaith relationships, there are some unique challenges that arise when mixing different customs and traditions.
Some of the challenges that arise are: How do you handle the holidays? How do you raise the children? What about the in-laws? What is kugel (or any Jewish food) anyway?
At Beit Simcha we welcome interfaith couples and have much experience in helping people solve the problems that they face. Here are a few ideas on growing a strong interfaith relationship:
• Make an extra effort to understand the feelings of your in-laws. Explain to them why you feel the way you do & that their traditions are very important to you.
• In an interfaith marriage, understand a Biblical view of marriage & interfaith relationships. Study the Biblical significance of the holidays.
• Discover your commonality. Focus on togetherness not on differences.
• Learn about each other’s background. Encourage your mate to share what they feel is important about their faith, traditions and observations. Consider the meaning that your own traditions and a sense that belonging to a community gave to your life. What do you want to continue? What do you want to pass on?
• Try to avoid blends at holiday times; a Hanukkah Bush or Hanukkah Stocking should be avoided. These tend to irritate in-laws, and confuse the kids.
• Deal with problems, issues head on. Real, open communication is the key. Find out if something is really important or if you are just being stiff-necked or stubborn.
• Remember that as our lives change (birth of a baby, death of a parent, and/or move to different area) things can happen that seem to throw your lives in a panic. Talk openly & honestly when these situations occur to be able to bring you back to a common ground.
• Bring God back into the equation – then everything will all add up!
A Messianic Synagague can be a bridge in the interfaith relationship. It is where the Jewish partner can express their Jewishness (ie. worship on Shabbat - Saturdays and has familiar liturgy) and the non-Jewish partner can come to appreciate the roots of their own faith.
Beit Simcha understands that faith is something that often becomes more important to us when we have a family. We as parents want to pass our beliefs and traditions down. And even in those cases where a couple decides to raise the children without faith, or in one spouse’s specific faith, suddenly this arrangement might become unacceptable for the other spouse.
If you are interested in finding out more information (or if you know an interfaith couple who would like more information), please contact us. Beit Simcha has experienced people who can discuss this topic with you or your intermarried friends.